"Mmmm"
Uncle Johnny routinely scanned his instruments and mechanically looked up to scan the horizon. Looking south, where he was pointed, the sky was suddenly very dark. "Crap. When the hell did that happen?" to himself. He dialed up flight following and asked for a weather briefing. "There is an immediate change in the forecast. Weather suddenly deteriorating over Long Island."
Uncle Johnny asked about Farmingdale. "Farmingdale will probably close soon. Zero visibility. Never saw weather happen this fast."
"I have. On more than one occasion," to himself "And it's always at stinking Farmingdale."
Flight following continued,"Weather to the East of your position is clear."
"I will amend my flight plan and redirect to Providence. I guess Providence is currently clear." asked Uncle Johnny.
"Providence reports winds calm and unlimited visibility. Proceed at your discretion. Good day Uniform Juliet."
To himself "How did I know? Always Farmingdale. Some day I'm going to rush into Farmingdale or just go into MacArthur and drive over to Farmingdale."
He resigned himself and aircraft to Providence. He banked hard left and dialed up the navigation frequencies for the trip to Providence. The hard bank was not necessary, but he really felt like it.
Besides, he didn't have any time for sightseeing. He had to go directly to the airport. The Pitts Special, the aircraft type he was in was not gifted with large fuel tanks. They had enough to get up, fly for a while and get back down. All the while the pilot has landing somewhere in his mind, or should.
"November Zero Two Uniform Juliet cleared to land Providence Runway 5." came the transmission from the tower.
"Hey a woman in the tower." he thought to himself. The only other woman Uncle Johnny dealt with was a well known, less than pleasant number in the tower at MacArthur airport. "Well, she sounds nicer than that beast in MacArthur."
"Uniform Juliet, turn left off the active runway at first intersection."
Uncle Johnny heard the transmission and knew what he had to do...and what he wanted to do. They were close enough.
"Providence Tower, Zero Two Uniform Juliet requests landing long on runway 5 and exiting on second intersection for Wallace Air." Replied Uncle Johnny.
He wanted to land long on the runway to reduce the amount of taxiing he would have to do to get to the ramp. Taxiing in a Pitts Special requires making S-turns along the taxi way because there is no forward visibility while on the ground. Taxiing while making these turns lets you see ahead with each swing back and forth.
One thing you may notice when sitting in the cockpit of a single engine prop plane is that forward visibility is often not all that great. To get the feel of it, take an empty coffee mug and make like you're drinking the last drop from it. The top part should be resting on the bridge of your nose. This is often the view in tricycle gear or nose wheel planes, which are planes with the third wheel under the nose. The two wheels that are under the wings of the planes are called the main gear or mains.
Planes like the Pitts Special and many older classic planes are called tail wheel planes because they have their third wheel at the back of the plane, instead of under the nose. While on the ground, whether tied down or taxiing, the view is even more obscured because the nose is pointed up in the air.
If you still have the coffee mug on your face, leave it there and lean back in your chair. Try having a conversation with someone on the other side of the table. It's difficult because you can't see them past the mug. And you're probably mumbling in the mug anyway. If you want more coffee mug flying instructions let me know, but for now, put the mug down and back to this important story.
"Uniform Juliet landing long approved... after a flyby over the active."
"Uniform Juliet, on the flyby." Uncle Johnny was not surprised at that flyby request. Everyone stops to look at a Pitts. This plane was the belle of the ball as usual. But, somehow that didn't sound like much of a request. Maybe this one in the tower was a little more like the beast in the MacArthur tower.
Uncle Johnny lined up with Runway 5, lowered the nose, dove to 100 feet a.g.l. or above ground level and covered the length of the runway in seconds. When over the end of the runway, he pulled back and roared up to pattern altitude while making a gradual left turn. This move would be a little aggressive in a lesser plane, but not so in the Pitts. He roared downwind, reduced power, turned base and final over the end of the runway then fully cut the power. With the nose pointed down, he dropped like a brick then flared the approach. At a comfortable height over the runway he pulled back again and settled her onto the runway. You can't let a Pitts settle herself onto the runway. They behave badly near the ground.
The end result of this approach was that Uncle Johnny landed long on the runway as he wanted. He touched down past bravo taxiway with only alpha taxiway left.
"Uniform Juliet taxi clear of the active, make a left on alpha taxi and taxi to Wallace Air."
"Uniform Juliet taxiing."
At the ramp, Uncle Johnny found the first tie down open and taxied in. He also found everyone on or near the ramp looking his way. Looking the Pitts's way the be more accurate. Half were jealous. The other half knew better than to trifle with a Pitts.
Uncle Johnny climbed out and tied her down unaided. Everyone was willing to look, but noone wanted to get too close to the Pitts. Although she was beautiful and diminutive, she was a little threatening sitting among a field of Pipers and Cessnas. She was loud, pointy, barbed, brash and a little exotic. He knew they would gather around her as he went into the FBO.
Inside the FBO he saw a young lady put down a phone and head towards a back room.
"Hi, I'm Uncle Johnny and I'm..."
"Okay, the gas truck is on the way to the Pitts. You will fill it up yourself, not the lineman, right?"
"Yeah, I always..." started Uncle Johnny.
"Great." said the young lady making barely any eye contact. "Hey Andy" she called into the back. "Ring this guy up for the gas and overnight tie down, I gotta go in the back." She stopped and looked at Uncle Johnny. "You'll be here overnight, right? You're going to work on the tower beacon."
"Yes and then..." started Uncle Johnny.
"Okay, great." and with that she disappeared into the back.
Uncle Johnny decided she was nice. Terse, but nice. Mostly because she didn't make any comments about changing light bulbs.
After Uncle Johnny signed the papers where Andy told him to, he went out to the plane. He took the nozzle from the gas truck driver, aka lineman, and pumped just enough to fill the tank. As always, he pumped the gas through a clear hose so there wasn't any chance of scratching the plane. A Pitts is worth the trouble. He handed the pump back to the lineman.
"Thanks. Um, how do you get out to the tower? I have to get out there tonight. It's so far from here." They both looked across the airport at the tower. It was free standing on the field.
"I can drop you off out there around seven thirty, but I have to be back there about 8 tonight. So you have more than enough time to wrap it up by then. You'll get a round trip in Gromit here." he said pointing to the truck. "A lot of things get names here at Wallace Air, even this old dog truck."
"Alright, thanks." said Uncle Johnny. "It's going to be dark by about 730, so I'll be ready to go around a quarter after. It shouldn't take me more than twenty or twenty five minutes in the tower, if all goes well."
"Fine, but remember eight o'clock. Wait, aren't you the guy who is going to change the lightbulb? How long could that take?"
"Dammit, there's always one...or more" thought Uncle Johnny. Looking directly at the lineman, "Changing a light bulb doesn't take long. But there is a whole lot more to what gets done. What, you thought it took only a minute? Huh?"
"Well, I thought... "
"Yeah a lot of people think that. Anyway, you know a place I can stay around here tonight?"
"Not exactly right around here. There's a convention at New England Tech down the road and all the close places are booked. The ramp is even crowded with the planes of the visitors who flew in. It's amazing you got a spot on the ramp, but especially the first tie down."
"I'm used to that." replied Uncle Johnny matter-of-factly.
"Really? Anyway, you'll probably have to go out to the Residence Inn about fifteen minutes from here, you better look into reservations soon."
"How do you know all this stuff?"
"I live around here."
"Oh yeah. Any taxis around here?" asked Uncle Johnny.
"Yeah, but if you leave after eight or so, Andy could take you. He lives right near it."
"Alright, I'll see you and Gromit around a quarter after seven."
In the FBO, Uncle Johnny asked Andy for a phone. "I need to make reservations, I'll probably stay at the Residence Inn."
"Residence Inn? I live right near it. If you're around here when I leave, I'll give you a ride. I'll be leaving here around eight. No guarantees."
"What a nice guy. I'll bet he's a great neighbor." thought Uncle Johnny.
Uncle Johnny called and made reservations at the hotel. He had about an hour to kill before he had to get to the tower. He knew what to do.
Every FBO has something that looks like a couch with a table nearby. One if not both are usually strewn with some sort of airplane related magazines. Uncle Johnny went out to the plane and got his tool bag and the bulb for the airport beacon. Then he made his way straight to the FBO couch.
Around seven thirty Andy walked in. "Hey Stephen's waiting outside for you."
"Who's Stephen?" asked Uncle Johnny.
"The lineman. You know, the gas guy. He says he's taking you out to the tower." said Andy.
"Oh yeah. With Gromit."
"Well, at least you knew the name of his truck. Remember, eight o'clock back here if you want a ride."
The motor of the gas truck was running and Uncle Johnny jumped in with his tools.
"Seat belt on, cowboy." said Stephen as he threw the truck into gear and gassed it for all the truck was worth. There was no air traffic in the pattern or on approach to the airport, or any planes taxiing so the truck could make good time down the taxiways and across the runways, but it still seemed a little too fast for Uncle Johnny. Especially in this old rattle trap.
"We in a rush?" asked Uncle Johnny.
"No, I'm in a rush. I have less than half an hour to drop you off at the tower, fill up Gromit for tomorrow and get back to the tower. By eight."
"What's with eight o'clock? Gromit going to turn into a pumpkin?"
"No, I have to pick up Beans at eight. That's when she closes the tower and gets out. Then get straight back to the FBO immediately."
"She? What does she do there?"
"She operates the tower."
"Oh that's the one I heard today."
"That's right. She landed you. The tower's hers until eight. Then Pup wants everyone at Wallace Air off the field as close to eight as possible."
"Who's Pup? A person, right? Not a truck or something."
"You probably met Pup at Wallace Air today. Anyway, you're about to meet Beans. Between her and Pup, she's the nicer of the two, or at least the easier one to get along with." With that, Stephen went heavy on the breaks bringing Gromit to a very firm halt in front of the tower. "Out you go cowboy. Be ready to leave with Beans. Later." Uncle Johnny stepped out. Stephen threw the truck into gear and the acceleration closed the door.
As Uncle Johnny got closer to the tower, he could hear repeated buzzing noises. The buzzes were coming from the tower door which opened easily when Uncle Johnny pulled on it. "That's odd." said Uncle Johnny.
"It's not odd." came through a speaker next to the door, stinging Uncle Johnny's ears. "I unlocked it while waiting for you. Now come on up."
"Hmm" he thought, very much to himself. "The beast in MacArthur may have competition."
Uncle Johnny vertically zigzagged his way up to the top of the tower, in no particular rush. He found the door at the top of the stairs open. He walked in and saw a young lady looking down at a screen with her back to him.
"Hello, I'm Uncle Johnny and I'm here..."
"Yeah, to swap out the bulb. And I'm Beans." said the young lady without looking up from the screen.
"Does anyone let you finish a sentence around here?" wondered Uncle Johnny. "So you're Beans and you run this tower?"
"Yeah that's right. Just me. Some pilots are surprised to hear a female in the tower."
"Really? Hmm. Some guys."
"Anyway, beautiful Pitts. Love the classic paint scheme." said Beans still looking at the screen.
"You don't see many of them up here do you?" semi-bragged Uncle Johnny.
"That's the first S-2B. Last year we had a S-1B fly in from Nashua."
"Wow, you know the models. You really know planes."
"That's right Genius. I know planes." she looked up from the screen and raised her hands and said "My office is an airport. I sometimes see planes."
"So I guess this is your airport."
"I let you in didn't I?"
"Yeah, well you have to..."
"My airport, my rules. You do know what hold short means, right? We'll see tomorrow when you leave."
She looked back down at the screen, "You'll find a ladder in the closet for you to get at the bulb, Johnny." she continued.
"It's Uncle Johnny, Beans."
"Okay, it's Miss Beans, Ung-cle Johnny. And the ladder is still in the closet."
Uncle Johnny went over to the closet thinking "Wow, this one's something. I can't believe the lineman said she's easier to get along with than someone else. That Pup guy must be a monster."
In the closet, behind some old jackets, Uncle Johnny found an old wooden ladder with paint splatters on it. It was the only one in there, so out it came. It rattled as he opened it. "All set here. You can turn the beacon off when you..."
Without hesitation Beans was on the mike "Notice to all aircraft approaching and departing Providence airspace, the Providence beacon will be off in two minutes and remain off for maintenance until further notice."
"Okay, where does..."
"Right over there in the middle of the room. See the handle on the ceiling? Just pull it down and up you go." said Beans.
"What do I need the ladder for? This is a ceiling ladder."
"It was. Pull down the handle, you'll see it's just a ceiling. The ladder part is gone."
He did. And it was. "What happened to the ladder?"
"A fat bulb changer."
"Really?!!"
"How do I know? What do I look like, a historian? You can look it up when we get out of here, which better be by..."
"Eight o'clock, I know, I know."
"If you're not ready when Stephen gets here with Gromit, you'll be driving your Hushpuppies back to the FBO."
Uncle Johnny reached into his tool bag doing his tool arrangement act, waiting to hear those anticipated words.
"Okay, beacon's off. Work your magic."
He grabbed his tools and the replacement bulb and went up the ladder. "Ouch."
"What happened?"
"I banged my head. There's no room up here. I can't fit up in here."
"Fit up there? What, are you looking for, a winter home? It's a tower beacon, not a town house. Old bulb out, new bulb in. No season renters. Let's go."
This one never quits. "You know, there's a lot to what gets done here."
"Oh yeah? Which are you better at, clockwise or counterclockwise?"
Uncle Johnny decided silence was the best conversation with this one.
This time he slowly stuck his head into the glass dome that contained the beacon. There was no room for anything. He was standing on the third rung from the top of the ladder. His tool bag was balanced on top of the ladder. He was glad it was dark. No one could see his head in the dome. It smelled like old oil and was still a little hot. First out was the WD-40. "Love that smell."
"What was that?"
"Nothing." he forgot he was not alone.
Next out was the Windex. He wiped down the inside of the dome waiting for the bulb to cool down. He admired the cleanliness of the dome. He saw the stars looking back at him, the Providence skyline, the white lights of the active runway and the blue lights of the taxiways. And two headlights madly tearing down the taxiway toward the tower. He looked at his watch. "Ten to eight. Crap, that means it's Gromit and Stephen."
"Let's move it along, up there. Our ride is here and I'm not leaving here with the beacon off." called Beans.
"Yeah, yeah, I see him." The bulb was cool by now. "Gimme a minute. The bulb is still hot."
"Yeah, well Pup will be red hot if we're back late. Finish it up now or join the Providence hiking club."
Uncle Johnny quickly got the old bulb out and balanced it on his tool bag to save the trip down the ladder. He carefully unwrapped the new bulb and screwed it in. He thought he was ready to go when he saw his Windex in the dome, looking at him.
He quickly grabbed it and knocked the old bulb off the tool bag. It fell to the floor and the pop of the bulb, of course, seemed louder in the quiet tower.
"Sorry Ms. Beans. You okay down there?"
"Sure. I'm great. What are you gonna do next, throw your tools at me?"
He got all of his tools back in the bag and checked the dome one last time. All was good. Down the ladder he went and found Beans had turned off all of the display screens and started to sweep up the bulb glass. 'Thanks, you didn't have to do that."
"I know." she said and handed hin the dust pan and brush. "But you better be done before Stephen gets out of the truck. He won't be happy and he will tell Pup you slowed me down." She threw a switch on the wall and moved to the mike. "All aircraft in the Providence vicinity be advised the Providence beacon is now operating and the tower will be closed until tomorrow."
"Do you work for Pup or something?"
"I work in a control tower. I work for the FAA, you know, the FAA?"
"Then why..."
"Pup does me a favor, making sure I have a ride out and back here. It's a favor."
Beans and Uncle Johnny got out of the tower and almost bumped into the truck. It was practically parked against the tower parked andStephen was just getting out. "Hey what took you guys? We may be late getting in. Anyway, get in."
"Why didn't you just drive into the tower, big fella?" said Beans as she climbed in next to Stephen. Uncle Johnny sat next to her. He got help closing the door from the acceleration.
Uncle Johnny remembered he hadn't checked the rotation speed of the beacon when he was working on it. He never saw a problem with rotation of beacons before, but he always checked. As Gromit hurried the three back to the FBO, Uncle Johnny was not listening to the conversation of the other two. He was looking at his watch counting the rotations per minute. Actually, he just counted for half a minute and doubled it. Once again, the rotation speed was right on.
"Thank goodness" he thought. He didn't know what he would have done otherwise.
"You're quiet, Uncle Johnny." said Stephen. "Tired or something?"
He tried to think of a comeback, but he knew they always show up ten minutes late.
Beans chimed in "He's looking at his watch. He's probably checking the speed of the beacon. Am I right?"
"How does she know all of this stuff?" he wondered. "No. I'm just trying to figure out what time I will get to the hotel?" Lame comeback, but he thought that would give him a break.
"You know, you could skip your hotel and take off right now. The tower is closed, but you can still get out."
Gromit came to an ungraceful halt in front of the FBO. Conversation ended and Uncle Johnny was glad. He was afraid she would ask where he was headed next. He didn't know. He never did.
Andy was waiting outside. "Hey, nice of you guys to show up." he said with a smile. He smiled alot.
"Where's Pup?" asked Stephen.
"Office of course. She'll be out in a few minutes. I'm outta here. Uncle Johnny, still want that ride to the hotel?"
"Sure, let's go."
On the ride to the hotel, Andy gave Uncle Johnny a brief history of Providence. "Now where are you from?"
"Long Island. I last flew out of Farmingdale."
"Ever fly out of MacArthur? You know Beans has a good friend in the MacArthur tower."
"Lemme guess, A woman."
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"Just a guess. Hey do you know where to get breakfast near the hotel?"
"The hotel has complimentary breakfasts for guests." said Andy.
"Do you think they might have waffles? Huh?" asked Uncle Johnny. This was the first time Andy heard him even a little excited.
"I guess. I never stay there. I practically live next door." They drove on in silence, one thinking about what to do tomorrow morning, the other thinking about what to eat tomorrow morning.
The car pulled into the hotel property. "Thanks for the ride Andy."
"Yeah, no problem, Uncle Johnny. Pick you here at seven thirty. Have a good night."
"You too." he said as he closed the car door in a traditional fashion.
Andy hadn't driven more than fifty feet when he hit the brakes and called to Uncle Johnny through the car window "By the way, it may not be me picking you up tomorrow morning, so keep your eyes open for Abigail."
"Who's that?" called uncle Johnny.
"That's right." yelled Andy. "Good night." Andy's hearing wasn't perfect after being in the Army. That's all I know. That's all you need to know.
Uncle Johnny found all he needed the next morning. The complimentary buffet. An open table. Waffles.
As always he saved his favorite part for last. He was halfway through his waffles when he saw Beans and the young lady in the FBO walk into the restaurant. "What are they doing here?" They walked straight to his table.
"Good morning" he said to the young FBO lady. "Hello Ms. Beans."
The other girls eyes widened as she turned to Beans. "Ms. Beans?"
"That's right." said Beans.
"How did that happen?" she asked and giggled.
"I'm very formal, sometimes." said Beans.
Feeling quite ignored, "What are two doing here?" asked Uncle Johnny.
"Where here to pick you up." said Beans. "Andy couldn't make it today. He's having a wagon wheel removed from his house. Long story and we're in a rush, now let's go big fella."
"Yeah, he did mention, last night, that he might be busy." Looking at the FBO girl, "Well, it's nice to meet you Abigail."
Beans laughed, "Abigail? What the...? Anyway let's go. I gotta get in the tower."
Inconspicuously, Uncle Johnny slid the last waffle off the plate onto a waiting napkin and folded the napkin around it. "Last night Andy said to look for Abigail if he couldn't make it." explained Uncle Johnny.
Looking at Beans, the FBO girl said "I'm Ms. Wallace." Beans giggled again.
"Okay" said Uncle Johnny, "And you work at the FBO."
"That's right. Wallace Air. My friends call me Pup Wallace. You can call me Ms. Wallace. And, I own Wallace Air. This is my sister, Beans Wallace." Beans grinned.
As per habit, he dropped the warm waffle parcel into the side pocket of his flight bag.
"Smooth move Exlax." said Pup. "Throwing waffles into a flight bag?" Beans laughed.
Pup continued "Why don't you pour some milk in your pants pockets?" Beans howled and high fived Pup.
"Let's get outta here, before someone sees us with him. We might get recognized." said Pup. "And who knows what he'll do next."
"Holy crap. She is tougher than Beans." Thought Uncle Johnny.
"Yeah, Abigail is out in the parking lot waiting for us," said Beans.
"Damn, I hope it's not another Wallace sister." to himself.
In the parking lot, they stopped at a nice little station wagon.
"This is Abigail." said Beans.
"A car? Abigail is a car?" said Uncle Johnny.
"Observant. Now hop in." said Beans. Pup smiled.
Uncle Johnny was glad Abigail wasn't a third sister. "I'll get in the back seat."
"Yeah, you will." affirmed Pup.
For the sake of his nerves, Uncle Johnny tuned out the two in the front seat for the ride to the airport. He wasn't sure if he was interested in what they were talking about, but he was very sure he'd had enough of them for the morning. He was just dazing out the windows as they were pulling into the FBO parking lot. In the corner of his eye he saw a shrunken head swinging in the back of the car.
"What is that?"
"A Chippie!" chimed Beans. "The plane I landed you in yesterday."
"Huh?"
"The de Havilland Chipmunk you flew in on. The Chippie." said Beans.
Uncle Johnny looked out at the ramp in front of the FBO. Parked in the first tie down on the ramp was a de Havilland Chipmunk. One of his all time favorites. The November number was November zero three Uniform Juliet. "Wow, she's beautiful."
"You're just noticing now?" said Beans. "I noticed that Chippie was a beaut yesterday, as she was landing."
Uncle Johnny didn't mind nicknames for some planes. He even accepted nicknames for some of the classics. But this was a de Havilland Chipmunk. He heard the name Chippie before, but never cared for it. This airframe deserved better.
"I know how beautiful she is and she is a Chipmunk. Not a Chippie." he said trying not to over correct as he exited the car.
" He's careful about names? This is coming from a guy who's related to no one and calls himself Uncle Johnny." said Pup. Beans approved with a smile.
Uncle Johnny stepped back from the car. "Yeah? Of the three of you, the only one with a girls name is the car." Surprisingly both Beans and Pup approved with a smile. But not to Uncle Johnny.
Beans asked, "Where'd you get that beauty anyway? They're kinda rare."
"Well that's a long story." said Uncle Johnny.
"Don't have time." Beans declared, "I see Gromit's on the ramp and that's my ride to the tower." Off she went in a hurry.
Pup was gathering some paperwork from the car. She headed for the FBO.
Uncle Johnny couldn't keep his eyes off the Chipmunk. Straight to the ramp he went, admiring her every step of the way. He patted her wing tip which he did to every plane type he'd never flown before.
The canopy opened easily and he found a box that contained a bulb. Morristown, NJ was on the label. "All right, Morristown, New Jersey is cool." He put the bulb in the back seat with his flight bag and belted them both in. He pulled out his chart and waffle and put them in the front under the seat. Everything looked good. Now he just needed to get the weather forecast in the FBO.
He carefully closed the canopy and saw a girl on the other side of the plane. She was very pretty but somehow not attractive. He had a bad feeling about this one. He never met her before, but he felt he somehow knew her.
"Hello" she said, "I see you're getting ready for your trip."
"Yeah, I'm busy." He hoped she would take a hint and hit the road, but he knew she was going nowhere. She sort of gave him the creeps. "You know, I'd love to talk, but I have to check weather forecasts and all, so..."
"You don't have to check the forecasts." she said as a matter of fact. "You can see the weather here is perfect, the weather in Morristown is perfect now and won't change. And the weather en route will be perfect."
Uncle Johnny was amazed. She didn't move an inch during her whole monologue. Maybe's she's growing roots.
"Well, I'm going to check just the same."
"Go ahead." she said "but we both know what I said is true. Whenever you're in these planes, the weather's perfect. Perfect on take off and perfect on landing. No crosswinds, gusts or wind shears. The weather en route always the same. Also, you really don't have to do the preflight inspections. These planes are always perfect."
Uncle Johnny had no idea how she knew so much about his business, but she did. He knew she was right and was listening with both ears now. As for not doing preflight inspections, that was damn near blasphemous. Besides, Uncle Johnny actually liked doing preflights.
"Yeah, I did have good weather sometimes." he said trying to somehow hold his ground. "Actually, on the way here, I was looking at very foul weather, now that I think of it."
"Yes and every flight before that where you tried to go into Farmingdale. We have to talk about Farmingdale. You can't go into Farmingdale."
"But I want to show my friends..."
"They can't see you in these planes."
"Yeah but..."
"You can go into Farmingdale if you like, no weather will be stopping you in the future. But when you land, the plane will be gone and it's all over." she said. Again, pretty, but not attractive.
"So, no Waco?"
"No."
"No Bleriot, Spitfire or Thunderbolt?"
"No. And no Gee Bee Racer."
"Gee Bees? I didn't think that was even possible."
"Are you serious? You were recently in a Boeing 247 and..."
"Yes and what a great machine she was!"
"That's not my point. Why would you think a GeeBee is not possible when you just flew a Boeing 247? You didn't have a problem with flying a Boeing 247? You didn't think that was odd. There are no flying 247s around. Also, we both know you could not have possibly been instructed or checked out in one, and yet you flew it. Solo. No problems with that picture?"
"I found myself at the controls and in perfect harmony with the machines. So, back to the GeeBees. I can get a GeeBee racer next?"
"Ugh." she sighed barely audibly. "Not if you go into Farmingdale."
"The hell with Farmingdale then! Let's get to the GeeBee next."
"What about your friends in Farmingdale?"
"Who cares?" The thought of a GeeBee racer made him forget about friends and that stuff.
"You don't have many friends, do you?" she asked.
"I have enough and..."
"Another thing, nothing's coming out of all of this. You just piloting these planes and having fun. I arrange for these planes and everything and to what end?"
"Um, excuse me, are these planes yours?"
"Well, yes and no."
"Very cosmic. Great answer..."
"Never mind about that. Back to the question... what's coming out of all of this?"
"What are you looking for a moral or something? Let's get the GeeBees going."
"You can forget the Geebees and all of them if there's no lesson being learned..."
"Ah hah! I was right. You're looking for a moral. Nobody cares about morals and nobody notices morals."
"Morals are the points of stories. Of course they notice them. Take the Tortoise and the Hare. There is a moral because the hare won the race..."
"Yeah, I didn't finish it, but I heard that. Hey, you want a good book, read the Firm. I finished that."
"If you didn't get the moral of the tortoise, there was no sense in you reading it."
"Couldn't agree with you more. Try the Firm. It's a Grisham."
"Morals of stories are important. Lessons are important. They are the reasons for the stories in the first place. No moral, no story. I need a moral here or the story ends. People do notice morals in stories. Interestingly, one thing nobody notices is that there's a new plane for you every day. Parked in the same tie downs you left the previous plane in and still no one notices. You tied down a Pitts in the first tie down last night and found a Chipmunk tied down today and nobody noticed."
"I notice every time. You do a great job picking these planes out."
"I'm not talking about you. It's okay that the people you meet at the airports don't notice, that's by design. But the readers don't notice."
"The who? well, anyway, as for learning and morals, I can't be bothered. Just keep the planes coming. That's all I want."
"It's not what you want that matters. Another thing. You seem to annoy a lot of people. Yes, they find you annoying, even irritating. I would have to say I find you burdensome."
"What are you saying?"
"I just tell the truth. Only the truth."
"No, people like me."
"You argue with almost everyone. You turn them off and often insult them."
"Big fan of the truth are you? You don't have many friends either, I bet."
"In any event, if there's nothing learned, there's no reason to continue. It's over. And if you go into Farmingdale, same thing. It's over." Very sober, both.
Uncle Johnny started to think about his friends, few as they were. They had never seen a Chipmunk in person.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"I've been called Annie."
"Annie?"
"It's short for Antoinette. Yes, like the plane."
"Cool! And, uh very nice indeed. See, I said something nice. That's worth half a moral, right there."
No reply.
"I'm going to get the weather." he went to the FBO knowing he really didn't need it, but force of habit made him call up for the weather.
He started thinking about his family. They had never seen a Chipmunk either. He knew none of them really cared, but he was involved with some amazing, some never in a lifetime planes and they were missing it.
The FBO was empty as he entered. His head was spinning from that conversation, even after getting the weather briefing. The weather briefing called for perfect weather as previously discussed.
As he was walking out of the FBO, Stephen walked in.
"You're outta here cowboy?"
"Yeah, I'm off to Morristown."
"Well, nice meeting you."
"Yeah, it wasn't annoying or irritating, right?"
"Okay."
Uncle Johnny hoped that little interchange was overheard or noted somewhere. "That was positive feedback. That's worth, like half a moral. I'm on a roll. From Chipmunk to GeeBee."
After a thorough preflight inspection and admiration, Uncle Johnny was strapped into the Chipmunk and the motor was running. All was wonderful with the world.
While taxiing out to runway 23, the active runway, he was tuned into the tower frequency. Not one transmission over the radio. Noone was in the airport traffic pattern. Once again he had the airport to himself. Pulling up to runway 23 he called the tower. "Tower, November zero three Uniform Juliet ready for takeoff."
"Uniform Juliet, hold short of the active." It was Beans's voice clear as a bell.
"Oh no, it's her again."
The hold short command is given when there is some kind of activity, current or expected, on the adjacent runway. Usually it would be another plane on final and just about to land. The 'hold short' keeps the second plane from going out onto the runway and meeting the incoming plane.
Uncle Johnny scanned the sky and saw no plane near the airport or in the sky, at all, for that matter. He heard no one on the radio with the tower either.
After a minute of waiting, he announced again, "Tower, November zero three Uniform Juliet ready for takeoff."
"Uniform Juliet, hold short of the active." came Beans again.
"Is she kidding? There's no one out here. What is she doing her nails?"
After another minute with the engine running, "Tower, November Zero Three Uniform Juliet ready for takeoff." trying not to antagonize .
"Okay Uniform Juliet cleared for takeoff runway 23." called Beans.
"That was accommodating of her to squeeze me in between nothing and nobody." thought Uncle Johnny.
"Uniform Juliet, after takeoff execute a one eighty to set up for a flyby over the active."
"Man, this really is her airport." He really didn't mind the flyby request at all. He wanted to test the Chipmunks handling.
He climbed to pattern altitude starting with with relatively conservative turns, gradually increasing the banks. This plane could fly. It was no Pitts, but, but this Chippy handled beautifully. On downwind, he cut the power back and put her in a healthy, continuous diving left turn, with no corners. It was a very military-like approach which he knew he could pull off. He leveled out at one hundred feet above the active and at midfield executed a snaproll. Decidedly unconservative.
"What the..." from the tower.
Uncle Johnny pulled up and into a sharp left turn. Sharp turns are always a nice sight, showing off the top of the wing.
"Uniform Juliet, proceed south on course, good day." said Beans.
"Uniform Juliet." replied Uncle Johnny as he headed south over Narragansett Bay. Many people might have noticed the sights below, but Uncle Johnny was quite happy being in the cockpit of a Chipmunk and the islands below were of no consequence.
Out over the Long Island Sound, Uncle Johnny picked up a westerly heading midway between Long Island and Connecticut. After a while he could see 737s descending which told him he was directly north of MacArthur. In ten minutes he would be directly north of Farmingdale. He thought again about his family and friends and wondered if he could somehow head south and sneak into Farmingdale unnoticed. He really wanted them to see this gem.
At the same time he knew he was getting close to NYC airspace and would have to make plans quickly. His only alternative was to head north and go around the city. This would be just fine because it was a nice flight and he would be into Morristown with more than enough gas reserved.
He had to think fast. Could he show off this plane to friends and family and not get caught? Or should he just head north around the city.
With minutes left he knew it was left to Farmingdale or right to go north of the city. What to do?
He knew what to do. He reached under his seat, pushed his chart out of the way and grabbed his waffle.
"Mmmm"
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